For some time now, I have been tossing around the idea of producing a weekly article for submission to the editors of our local publications. The basis for the column would be a sort of etiquette number with major emphasis on (but not limited to) the general driving skills, habits, that is, the deplorable driving habits of thousands of licensed drivers on the roadways of Durango and the Four Corners region. In addition to a thorough reaming of our local commuters, my editorials would include an occasional segment criticizing our interactive demeanor with food servers as we patronize our favorite local restaurants. And, as long as I've made mention of the matter (in the spirit fairness and all), the performance of Durango waiters would be under critical scrutiny as well. Other areas of analytical examination might have included:

• Eye contact and customer service
  
• Junk food, TV, and our national weight crisis
  
• Improper grammar and the impending benefits of teaching our children the proper use of the English language;

Hey! There is no such thing as m-e-l-k.

I would refer to my creation as "Road Rage:
Meaningful Ramblings from Under the Breath of a Confessed Control Freak".

But, as it happens time and again, "Road Rage" has taken a back seat to more than a few additional, half-finished, and otherwise incomplete personal endeavors or, for lack of a better term, excuses … resulting in … well … nothing.

And so it goes.

Recently, however, I was re-inspired by a worthy topic that compels me to bust out the highway salute in the form of my inaugural issue of "Road Rage".

The target of my unbridled anger; The Political Campaign on My Telephone Answer Machine! What the …? Who the …?

I have emerged from obscurity to tell you that I am far beyond irritated with this unsolicited invasion taking place in my own private living space. Since when was it "OK" for political candidates and their supporters to make these random, computer generated phone calls to the vacant homes of the citizens of their potential governing districts, stating the specifics of their own petty, little, slanderous gobbledygook?

Now (although I think that it is a very good idea), I have no intention to propose that we all should call our congress people to demand that they pass laws making it illegal for political candidates to phone the citizens of their prospective jurisdictions; personally, I think that we have far too many laws littering our "judicial system" as it stands. And, besides, such an idea just sounds so boring … too commonplace, and terribly unsavory in support of my ravenous appetite for significant communiqué.

But wouldn't it be so very much a great deal more fun if every working person in Durango would simply lift up the telephone receiver and dial the personal residence of half a dozen candidates currently running for office, and then leave whiny recorded messages explaining how a particular colleague once snubbed, slighted, or misquoted us? And then, perhaps, we might even continue by giving details regarding our specific work related goals for the upcoming year.

Maybe then (maybe) these scoundrels might recognize just how much of a shameless violation we think that this disgraceful and tasteless new method for generating latent votes really is.